Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Bad To Worse

Shortly after my previous post, my husband and I started our annual December staycation. This year, we'd carved out 19 days for ourselves, and we were very much looking forward to long days of relaxing and spending time together.

Best laid plans.

From the very start of our staycation, things starting going wrong. I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say that these bumps in our road were large, and painful, and some of them are still not resolved. We faced them as a team, my husband and I, as we always do. We were determined to ride out the turbulence.

And then, on January 1st, my father suddenly died.

He was alive and then he wasn't and though his death was quick, and unexpected, by the look of his room, it probably wasn't an easy transition for him. Stroke, most likely. He'd spoken to the nurse a few minutes before. Then someone went to check on him to bring him to lunch. He'd sent them away before they could come into his room, saying he was getting dressed and that he'd be right there. When he didn't show up, an aide was sent to check on him and found him dead.

I'd spoken to him the day before. He'd called to wish me a happy new year, and to tell me that his chair was broken, and asked if could I get him a new one. We chatted a few more minutes, and then hung up. And that was it, he was gone.

As many of you know, my relationship with my father was a difficult one. Still, I grieve.

I'm dealing with it the best way I know how: I'm taking to the studio and painting.

(8"x10" panel, Encaustic paint and alcohol-based inks)

(Watercolor paper mounted on18"x24" cradled panel, encaustic paint, oil paint, alcohol-based inks)

Despite the cheery colors on both these panels, they accurately reflect my state of mind, with dark, bruised colors peeking out from underneath. 

Until next time, create like today could be your last. 
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